shit


biden and putin talk about ukraine

vlad, i am in deep shit here.
inflation is up, stocks are down.
i need something.

i know, joe.
here they are squeezing me
about my house
and a bunch of other shit.

so what do we do, vlad?

give me a week to
get some war shit going.
that facebook stuff
is not enough anymore.

ok, cool.
but make it a bit scary.
people do not react anymore
to regular war.
be creative.




my poems are random

my poems are random
because my thinking is random
but i will still not write a poem
about taking a shit
or eating a banana.
or maybe i will.




usa is the best fucking country in the world

usa is a seriously fucked up place
but it is still the best
which says a lot about the other places.

it is the only place where
you can be worshiped for doing weirdest shit
and this is why they innovate more than any other place.

for all of you bitches who think china is better
just remember that
you will never be chinese.

for all of you idiots who think eu is better
just remember that obvious fuckups
are better than hidden fuckups.

if you want a better world
fix usa
because it is here to stay.




integrity uber alles

i was taking a shit
and scrolling down instagram.
at one point i spaced out
and i liked a miltos manetas post.
then i realized
i actually liked
an advert for cables.
i quickly unliked it
because i have integrity.




brian droitcour

long time ago
brian wrote an article
about my art
and i thought it was the
stupidest shit anyone ever wrote
but now, decades later,
i think he was right
in his madness




forty year old man checklist

few extra kilos per year
back pain
maybe whiskey
definitely beer
german car
wake up alarm for sex
everything is a ten year plan
not giving a shit
pretending to not know
how to count to sixty




depressing shit

kids pool empty for weeks
alone in a big house
no hidden candy




growing up defined

growing up
is an einstein rosen bridge
from a creative fun plan
to a piece of shit money planet
made by those
who never had any creative fun.




why war is just such shit

i was browsing nonsense websites
for six hours
doing absolutely nothing useful
and thinking how i am wasting time

i somehow ended up listening
the animals’ house of the rising sun
and then it hit me
why war is just such shit

i felt an urge to share
this revelation
and i realized that the best way
is to write a poem

here goes

very smart people can easily
understand themselves and others
which helps them discover
nonviolent productive solutions

not very smart people
can not understand much
and they can not say the right things
and they end up communicating with violence

it takes a very smart person
to make everybody happy
for them it is easy
just like swimming is for champion swimmer

not very smart person
has problems figuring things out
and gets confused
and makes a mess

this is why war just such shit
because it is a product of morons
it is that simple
share this poem




loser nobody

there are these people
who can do so little
and yet what they do
is so powerful
and meaningful
and fresh

and then
there are these people
who want to be
like these other people
but just can not cut it

and they spend
unbelievable amounts of energy
to achieve
absolutely nothing

and their whole lives
amount to shit and piss they excreted
and nothing else




poem about big shit

the sensations of
pressure buildup
urgency
panic
blissful release and
final relaxation
can only be
truly verbalized
by a great poet




this is the best shirt ever

this shirt is so fucking great
it is so good
i can just like shit myself
and it is too good
like warm and soft in my pants
that is how good this shirt is




lets go to war

theres nothing else to do
we are super bored
those people over there
do not like our food
lets kill them
we need more money
they have it
lets kill them and take it
its easier than
selling them shit
lets go to war
because it is fun
most people
are fucking terrified of war
but fuckem
it is fun for us