death


artist levels

artists are leveled
by what happens
when they die:

level one – millions are sad.
level two – thousands are happy.
level three – hundreds are sad.
level four – no one cares.




really bad restaurant

i went to a really bad restaurant
food made me burp like a pig
wine gave me an instant headache
80s madonna music was super annoying
but i did forget that my dad died
for about an hour or so




metaverse vs universe

universe is kind of an asshole
because we are constantly
bothered by the possibility of death.
metaverse could be much better
if it helps us completely forget
that we can and will die.




i am sorry for being gloomy

since my father died
i wrote many gloomy poems
i promise
the next one will be funny




women live longer

i think it is a good idea
that women live longer than us
because they have to bother
with our death
and not us with theirs




perfect time to die

perfect time to die
is at the same time
as both of your parent die
without them knowing
that you die
when your kids are
mature enough to
tolerate the pain




rafael asked me about death

i wrote a lot of poems about rafael
and a lot of poems about death
but not so many about rafael and death.
finally rafael called me to ask me
about my father’s death
and it gave me an idea this poem
about rafael and death.
thank you rafael.




ryder ripps

for a while
i wanted to write a poem
about ryder ripps
but then i was distracted
by my father’s death
and i can not remember
if i did write a poem about him
and i am too lazy
to use control eff to search
but i am still impressed
by him or something he did
but i do not remember what
because i was distracted




100 % pissed off at my father’s funeral

i was pissed off
7 % that my father died
23 % that I will die
59 % that my children will die
12 % that Irena will die
84 % that everyone else will die




my father died

i was very lazy
to write this poem
but i did it




waiting

i am waiting
for my father to die
for my mother to die
and for me to die
and hopefully no one else




6 september 2021

first jean-paul belmondo died
of old age
and I was reminded
how we will all die.

but then michael k. williams died
which is an accident
and I decided
that death is not an obligation.

thank you michael k. williams.




taliban

i can not resent taliban
because
they are simply
super terrified of death
so they come up
with all these
hopefully pathetic solutions to it
and that is no different
from anyone else i ever met.

except few people who
have the balls to look the death
in the eyes and say
i do not give a fuck.
but they are not taliban.




smartest poem so far

are you ready?
here goes!

our consciousness is
not in our brains
but is accessed
by our brains.

everyone is religious
because our whole lives
we give gifts to gods
so they spare us
from death.

progress of humanity
is hijacked
by those
who fear the most.

bam!
do you like it?
am i smart?




kanye west death

i hope
kanye west dies before me
because
his music is
the most perfect representation
of how a person changes through life
and i want to see the whole thing




capitalism

capitalism is not about capital.
it is about letting everyone try
to cheat death
and become immortal.




a sad day

i saw a huge wasp
in my office
and i had to kill it.
i squeezed it with a piece
of toilet paper
and i heard and felt
its body crush and crack.
i did not feel good about it
but it had to be done.
bummer.




a war poem

my girlfriend’s ex boyfriend’s father
was killed in a weird way.
he helped an enemy family
so after the war they
picked him up at work,
took him to the woods,
and gave him a grenade
to blow himself up.
and he did it.




black lives matter mission

enter the twenty second century
with a guarantee that
government employees
will not choke people to death
for ten minutes
in broad daylight
in public places
anymore
at least.




writing poetry

writing poetry
is the hardest thing ever
because you have to
intensively think
about death
every day




success

the more successful
we are
the better bargaining position
we have with death,
maybe.




true love

if we really love
our children
we will be complete
assholes to them
so they hate us
and never get sad
because we died




cheating

if i knew the exact moment of my death
i would burn myself a minute before
so i can be like thich quang duc




siu vásquez

she is a post-it note
saying:
ideology is not a chit chat
but life and death stuff.




ren hang dies

on facebook i saw
an image of a poem
which appeared like mine
but it was a poem
by ren hang.
i got scared
that he did the same thing
i wanted to do
but before me.
i felt angry at him
and sorry for my laziness.
but then i read that he died
and i felt safe again.
also i read few of his poems
and they seemed depressing
and my poems are not depressing.
so i won in my mind for now.




death is a gift

death is the ultimate deadline.
without death we would be lazy
and not make any kids
and kids are important
because they are
better versions of us.




that time when i almost killed my son

my son and i woke up together.
we were alone.
we went down to the kitchen
and he wanted to eat a kiwi.
i scooped the kiwi with a spoon
thinking how i can cut out a nice big piece.
i was happy he wanted kiwi in the morning.
i gave the piece to him.
i realized it was big for him
but was confident he can chew it.
he tried hard.
but he started choking.
i flipped him upside down
holding his leg with one arm
and tapping his back with another.
he spat out one piece.
he continued to choke.
i again flipped him over
and started tapping his back.
there was no one to help me.
his life depended on how i tap his back.




super expert

we are all very talented
to do stuff
but our biggest talent
is to ignore death.
as soon as we think of it
we are super experts
in immediately ignoring it.




afterlife happiness and paranoia

i physically died
but i was still conscious.

it took me few moments
to realize that this is afterlife,
that i exist as a spirit
and that i did not end
with my body.

i felt enormously happy.
i was terrified of death
all my life
and there is no death.

but then i thought
what if this ends as well?




problem with parents

just when you get used to your parents
they die




life is not what i expected

all i wanted from life
was to sleep most of the day
eat ton of cakes and not get fat

and then comes all this stuff
with people getting sick
dieing and fighting




extreme density of expression

guy is licking
his grandma’s pussy
and suddenly he tastes
horse sperm
and says:
“so that is how you died!”




five reasons why husband cries for his dead wife

emotional connection
his own mortality
half of income is lost
no one to wash the dishes
the pain of new dating




more by usher

more by usher
is the best song i heard in my life
it is so fucking awesome
i can not describe it
if you take all art ever made and
compress it in a three minute experience
you can maybe reach
only one promil of how good
more by usher is
i want to sing it every second of my life
if i die after it finshes it is ok
because i heard it
i do not want to die before it finishes
if i am falling off a cliff and i hear it on radio
i will be super happy
if i crash and explode before it finshes
i will be pissed
if it finishes and one millisecond
i crash and die it is ok
but not ok because i want to hear
more by usher again
more more more
i want more by usher
installed in my brain so
only thing i heard for the rest of my life
is unlimited repeat of more by usher
i want my kids to only speak
the words of more by usher
if they make a mistake i will kill them
i want to kill anyone
who even says this song is not
the best sound that will ever
exist in the reality of our universe
or any dimension
anyone who disagrees with this
will die instantly
i will cut their eyes out with my eyelashes
while singing more by usher
fuck this song is good
i am so happy to be alive to hear it
anything else in life is meaningless
more by usher!!!!!




wildest sex

my wildest sex experience
was sex on a beach
all thirty of us were covered
with fly bear blood
and instead of cumshots
we had laser beams
that burned through the planet
and straight to another universe
and the sound of this massive shag
was so strong
that it went back in time
and altered history
and the air smelled so good
that everybody who smelled it
died instantly
it was very good sex




essence of advertising

i want emotion
i want life
i want to change everything
i want to be the chosen one
i want to succeed
i want to be loved
i want to love
i want to become
a nuclear weapon of love
i want to live forever
i will live forever
i will never die
and everybody will love me
every second of my neverending life
will be an extreme explosion
of wonderful emotions
time is nothing
love it everything
because i am buying
this toothbrush




knowledge sucks

first and greatest
human invention
is death




why people hate science and love religion and media

you are
totally useless
very soon
you will only be
a pile of smelly junk
people love you
only because they
love themselves
and cause they shit
their pants
when they remember
that they are also
insignificant

if you ever invented
anything
you do not even
have a clue how you
invented it
it just happened
and you have no control

if you ever did
anything good
it was only an
accident
something that
could have easily have
happened to
anyone else

you do not
even suck
you are not
even that important
you are just
a stupid useless
chemical nanoevent
in otherwise
meaningless oblivion




death

death
death
death
death
death
death




make parents happy

make kids
do not die before them
appear healthy and strong
be predictable




sudden death of friend’s younger brother

sucks
sucks
sucks
fuck, it sucks




training for my parents’ death video




thank you mr. death

thanks
for letting me live
so long
im already 30
that is already
way too much
a bit more would
be ok
but i am not
pressuring
whatever you decide
is cool with me




death again

whenever i have
nothing good to write about
i write about death
it is the easiest
most universal subject
very commercial
easy sale!




training for my parent’s death

i have been eating well
lifting weights
doing long easy runs
reading up on the subject
gathering experiences
establishing contacts
i should be ready