sometimes
i just eat all of it
and leave nothing for kids

daniel hale exposed
how military covered up
how military drones
mostly killed civilians

i already miss
the good old days
when your enemy would
cut your head off
with a dull rusty knife.
it was personal and humane.

i do not like this new trend
of drones killing your kids

who knows
what new horrors await us?

54 % of art is made by kids
36 % of art is made by retired people
17 % of art is made as a form of therapy
12 % of art is made as interior decoration
0.3 % of art is made as commercial promotion
0.1 % of art is made as asset allocation
0.03 % of art is made as tool for social change

i wish i loved my kids so much
to treat them badly
so they would love me less
and be less sad when i die

tradition is when
kids are smart enough to know
when to trust their parents

johnny depp chose
to be in kids movies only because
he is not a believable action hero

sometimes
i enjoy thinking so much
that i start believing
i would be better off without a body
as a pure thought energy
drifting through the universe.

but then i remember
that without a body
i would miss hugging my kids so much
that i would feel thinking pain
for an entire eternity.

few times in my life
i made visual art
and it was fun and beautiful
but it was too slow and too much hard work.

i chose to write poetry
because it is fast and easy
and i can often change my mind
and go through hundreds of ideas.

but finally i have found
a way to make visual art
and not be bored by the hard work.
i hope it works out.

visual art is cool
and my kids might like it
more than my poetry.
and i will meet new people.

for a long time
it was my dream
to visit sicily.

finally i will do it
with irena and the kids
this july.

if you have any tips
or want to meet
email me at nikola@tosic.com.

for many years
i washed my penis
in the bathroom sink.

before you judge me
this is our third bathroom,
the smallest one,
in my office,
that mostly i use,
and i always wash it well
after i wash my penis in it.

but i still felt guilty
that i never told this
to irena.
i never lie and
i also never withhold
important truth.

i was under pressure
for years
and it was, in a small way,
damaging our relationship,
but i was waiting for
the right moment to tell her.

and one day,
after we have not been together
for a long time,
we had impulsive dirty sex
in that bathroom,
and it made perfect sense
that i wash my penis in the sink
in front of her
and i casually told her
that i do this sometimes,
and i felt so relieved
that i was able to share this with her,
and the horrible pressure
was finally gone.

now i have to figure out
how to tell the kids.

ps
irena read this poem
and told me i already told her before.
but i forgot this.

pss
i realized our kids will
read this poem.

i am sorry
that i did not publish poems
in the last two weeks.

i did a road trip
across italy
with irena and the kids.

i wrote this poem
as if someone noticed
and cared.

having a flu is like being old
i want to kiss the little kids
i am happy to just take a shower
drinking warm tea is amazing
i am not picky with entertainment

in another dimension
there is a will smith
who was punished
for his idiotic impulsive violence
and this was seen by taliban kids
who stopped believing
that the west is corrupt
and became artists
like the real hollywood actors

i am 5 kilos overweight
because i choose to
have dinners with my kids
instead of
living a few years longer.
i am not sure but
my kids could be
more fun at dinner tonight
than in 2060.
anyway,
i am managing the risk
with a lot of medicine.
thank you, big pharma!
and i did 5 perfect pull ups
this morning.

we still have not decided
where we will live
after our kids leave us.
should we stay close to them?
should we live in a cabin in the woods?
should we live in the flat in which i grew up?
should we move around and explore?
should we live on a beach?
should we live in an italian village?
we have no idea.
email me suggestions.

good kids
either tell you to fuck off
or
do exactly as you tell them

what if it
was a metaphor
for fast food companies
giving our kids cancer
every 27 years

what if it
was a metaphor
for media reprogramming
our kids
every 27 years

perfect time to die
is at the same time
as both of your parent die
without them knowing
that you die
when your kids are
mature enough to
tolerate the pain

they are literally you,
you create and shape another conscious being,
they expand your capacity for love,
they help you understand yourself
they make you better,
they offer the highest level of connection,
they are your best friend.

i hate
that i love so much
everyone including
my parents, girlfriend, kids, friends,
and random people.

i fucking hate it
to the point when
i want to just
kill everyone
because i love them
so much.

he survived again.
well done.
maybe he really is
indestructible.
i hope my kids
think i am indestructible
too.

miltos is a level three villain
in the art video game.
you need to beat him
to reach level four.
there are seventy six levels.
i am still at level two.
rafael is level forty two.
my kids are level one.

my youngest son was in the hospital
and my girlfriend was with him.
my other kids were with their dad
so i was alone at home
and it was a bit sad and boring.

but then i invented
an onion and melted camembert on rye sandwich!

i found a bug in the hallway
and threw it in the toilet.
an hour later i went to pee
and the bug was still there swimming.
i felt sorry for it
but i really needed to pee
so i peed on it and flushed.
i felt bad about doing it but i did it.
the bug did not get flushed
and kept swimming.
i was very happy.
i made a little stick out of toilet paper
and took it out
and released it outside.
i hope it had a great life
with a great family and an awesome career
and lots of kids and grand kids.
this bug is my hero.

kids pool empty for weeks
alone in a big house
no hidden candy

sooner or later
police will come
to your door
and send your kids
to kill or be killed

living so long is boring.
I think we were not meant
to live so long.
I can not remember
most of my life anyway
because it is so long.
the only thing that makes sense
is to be with the kids.
now i just have to
invent some stuff to do
to fill few more years.
I miss war.

death is the ultimate deadline.
without death we would be lazy
and not make any kids
and kids are important
because they are
better versions of us.

i agreed with austin lee
to write a poem about him
in exchange for his portrait
of my family.

i am not sure
if it is a fair bargain
because the poem will be
only about him
and i will be
only one of the five people
in the portrait.

it would be fair
if my three kids and my girlfriend
would also write poems about him,
or if all of us would write together
a poem about him.

but life is not fair
and it will only get worst from now on
and we learn to roll with the punches
and one of the most important things in life are friends
and i hope austin lee will be my friend
just like rafael rozendaal is,
and wyne veen, and angelo plessas.
because compounding benefits of friendship
are transgenerational
and that is why i made this investment
in an austin lee poem
because that is the only thing i care about today
is my kids friendships in two thousand fifty.

more by usher
is the best song i heard in my life
it is so fucking awesome
i can not describe it
if you take all art ever made and
compress it in a three minute experience
you can maybe reach
only one promil of how good
more by usher is
i want to sing it every second of my life
if i die after it finshes it is ok
because i heard it
i do not want to die before it finishes
if i am falling off a cliff and i hear it on radio
i will be super happy
if i crash and explode before it finshes
i will be pissed
if it finishes and one millisecond
i crash and die it is ok
but not ok because i want to hear
more by usher again
more more more
i want more by usher
installed in my brain so
only thing i heard for the rest of my life
is unlimited repeat of more by usher
i want my kids to only speak
the words of more by usher
if they make a mistake i will kill them
i want to kill anyone
who even says this song is not
the best sound that will ever
exist in the reality of our universe
or any dimension
anyone who disagrees with this
will die instantly
i will cut their eyes out with my eyelashes
while singing more by usher
fuck this song is good
i am so happy to be alive to hear it
anything else in life is meaningless
more by usher!!!!!

parents
girlfriend
wife
child
friends
kids
pets
god
animals
planet
toys from childhood
taxi drivers
computer
coffee

it takes
only few seconds
to write a poem

no one can
really tell if its
good or bad

there is
a tiny chance
kids will have
those stupid
what-does-it-all-mean
discussions
in school
about your poems

while musicians
and painters
need decades
to perfect their
abilities

you do not need
any education or training

the less you know
better your poetry
will be

you hardly need
to know how to spell
or even speak

if no one
has any clue
what your poems
are about
this is perfectly
acceptable

yet poems are
somehow
so very cool

just so
very very cool

do not make kids
die as soon as you can
be unhealthy and weak
be unpredictable

make kids
do not die before them
appear healthy and strong
be predictable