the curse of knowledge

the more i learn the more i realize
there is even more to learn

knowledge is unlimited
and i will never learn everything

it is an evil trick!




one of the most beautiful moments in my life

this morning
while i was taking a shower
i noticed how water drops were falling
on the plastic shower cabin floor

the drops glittered
in the most beautiful way i have ever seen
but i only noticed it
for a millisecond in the corner of my eye

i tried to replicate
the angle and speed of the drops
but i was not able to see the glitter again
the moment was lost

but i am so happy
to have experienced
this moment of rare beauty
while taking a shower this morning




i am very very very sorry

because i did not write a poem for several weeks
because communism does not work
because capitalism does not work
because there are no teleports
because i am not on tv every day for at least an hour
because time passes
because eggs do not cook in a nanosecond
because i get tired and need to sleep




one more love poem

i want to fuck you so bad
my eyes are leaking acid
and my ass smells like universe




i am an expert in

eating food
sleeping
peeing
number two
thinking
being pissed off
watching tv
washing hands
drinking
listening to sounds
not seeing in dark
sitting in chairs
walking on various flat surfaces
using forks and glasses
chewing
signing documents
looking at things
touching my left eyebrow with my left hand
wiggling my toes
wearing underwear
wearing socks
interpreting time from digital watches
being cold
being warm
being tired
being happy
laughing at really funny jokes
wanting to be on a beach
being horny
swallowing food
taking cash from my wallet and giving it to someone else
putting on and taking off clothes
evaluating weather by looking through the window
holding things with one hand
holding things with two hands
standing on two feet
being proud
being ashamed
sweating
showering
blinking




take your head electronic

take your head but
take your razor
take your speed
tuck you in, kill the snitch
that electronic sound
drilling in my eye
take your head
but
tomorrow is dead
electronic
hope you divide the sign
of genius
coming to this universe
to clean the dark
from the rain
make the rain
electronic
take your head




i am not doing it well

just because
you like it

it does not mean
i do it well

it only means
that you like
what i do

which is
good enough for me




why war is just such shit

i was browsing nonsense websites
for six hours
doing absolutely nothing useful
and thinking how i am wasting time

i somehow ended up listening
the animals’ house of the rising sun
and then it hit me
why war is just such shit

i felt an urge to share
this revelation
and i realized that the best way
is to write a poem

here goes

very smart people can easily
understand themselves and others
which helps them discover
nonviolent productive solutions

not very smart people
can not understand much
and they can not say the right things
and they end up communicating with violence

it takes a very smart person
to make everybody happy
for them it is easy
just like swimming is for champion swimmer

not very smart person
has problems figuring things out
and gets confused
and makes a mess

this is why war just such shit
because it is a product of morons
it is that simple
share this poem




i hate my penis

sometimes it is too big
sometimes it is too small
sometimes it is too hard
sometimes it is to soft
sometimes it is the way i want it
but sometimes not

it is an organ on my body
which is not easy to talk to
i speak to it more than to my liver
but less than to my finger

it is not like an eye
which i can just move
whenever i want to
i hate not having full control
over my penis




poem about selling

selling is like swimming
it takes a lot of time to learn
and is not natural
but if you do not learn
you drown




problem with parents

just when you get used to your parents
they die




the last poem i will ever write

this is the last poem
i will ever write




loser nobody

there are these people
who can do so little
and yet what they do
is so powerful
and meaningful
and fresh

and then
there are these people
who want to be
like these other people
but just can not cut it

and they spend
unbelievable amounts of energy
to achieve
absolutely nothing

and their whole lives
amount to shit and piss they excreted
and nothing else




life is not what i expected

all i wanted from life
was to sleep most of the day
eat ton of cakes and not get fat

and then comes all this stuff
with people getting sick
dieing and fighting




five things you should know about me

i am on planet earth
i am human
i am male
i like to eat
i need lots of love




love poem v2

my woman does not need to be beautiful
my woman does not need to be smart
my woman does not need to be rich
my woman does not need to be or do anything




i found an angry birds space bug

on my sister’s 29th birthday
i have discovered a bug in angry birds space
i feel so special
but less special then this morning
when i found a wordpress bug




i found a wordpress bug

on my sister’s 29th birthday
i have discovered a bug in wordpress
which other
seventy two million
three hundred sixty eight thousand
eight hundred forty users
did not find
i feel so special




emotion is a luxury

rich crave emotion
because they have
time for it

for poor
emotion is a luxury
they do not have time for

once the poor
have time for emotions
then they make a mess of them

emotions need a lot of time
and time is money
and money is with the rich

and rich crave emotion
because they have
time for it




extreme density of expression

guy is licking
his grandma’s pussy
and suddenly he tastes
horse sperm
and says:
“so that is how you died!”




as nikola mentioned

our conversation would be oriented
towards your methods
and how you communicate
the methods to
employees clients suppliers
and how the methods
are reflected in
and automated through
the products




glass freaks me out

i can see through it
but i can not move through it

light photons go through it
but not the molecules of my hand

this is a miracle!




fhack de spel chek

fhack de spel chek
u andrstood mee anyvai




political poem

to increase my position as a poet
i must write a poem
which is essentially a political statement
motivating the people
against the oppressor




another love poem

you are so sexy
i just want to fuck you up
like a bathtub in morocco
while elephants talk shit
there is nothing that can stop
my love
i love you like no one else
i will fuck you up
yeah




i need to get back on my horse

i need to get back on my horse
if i could just reach it
and if it would just stand still
i just need to be strong enough
to pull myself up
and put my foot over it
then i will be ok
i will make it
i can heal my wounds and recover
get my strength back
make some money
learn new skills
and get back at them
but i just need to get back on my horse
i can see it
it is there
few steps away
if i get on i will show them
if not i will die in this dirt
and they win
i need to get back on my horse
that would really be good right now




five reasons why husband cries for his dead wife

emotional connection
his own mortality
half of income is lost
no one to wash the dishes
the pain of new dating




ale bodo

go back to work
stop fucking around




more by usher

more by usher
is the best song i heard in my life
it is so fucking awesome
i can not describe it
if you take all art ever made and
compress it in a three minute experience
you can maybe reach
only one promil of how good
more by usher is
i want to sing it every second of my life
if i die after it finshes it is ok
because i heard it
i do not want to die before it finishes
if i am falling off a cliff and i hear it on radio
i will be super happy
if i crash and explode before it finshes
i will be pissed
if it finishes and one millisecond
i crash and die it is ok
but not ok because i want to hear
more by usher again
more more more
i want more by usher
installed in my brain so
only thing i heard for the rest of my life
is unlimited repeat of more by usher
i want my kids to only speak
the words of more by usher
if they make a mistake i will kill them
i want to kill anyone
who even says this song is not
the best sound that will ever
exist in the reality of our universe
or any dimension
anyone who disagrees with this
will die instantly
i will cut their eyes out with my eyelashes
while singing more by usher
fuck this song is good
i am so happy to be alive to hear it
anything else in life is meaningless
more by usher!!!!!




rafael, you went far over limits

i hope that you are realizing
the consequences.
you are losing
the only real artist
who looked on you
as a potential equal.
i was wrong doing so
and I will never do this mistake again.
enjoy the rest of your career.




ultimate evil

i am a sith decepticon
raised in mordor
educated in hogwarths
as part of the slytherin
worked at ocp detroit
as half sardaukar
half borg




italian twelve course meal

zuppa
antipasto
metapasto
superpasto
antiprimo
primo
secondo
caposecondo
dolce
dolcettino
caffe e grappa
frutta




living with a partner

i am not good with dental hygene
my three minutes three times a day
are actually one minute twice a day
but somehow
every time I start brushing my teeth
my partner rushes in
and sits on the toilet saying:
“i really have to!”
every single time!
i miss brushing my teeth without
the fart echo behind me.
is it too much to ask that
taste and smell senses match.




make a deal with god

if you are to make deals
make sure you make them
with the right person

make a deal with god!
no one ever said
he does not make deals

if you believe in god
you could believe
in deals with god too

if you can not do it yourself
find the dealmaker
find me…




how to write good poetry

first you have to
take poetry seriously
second you have to
not worry how it sounds out loud
poetry is about silence
third you have to
make a point
pointless stuff just
does not work anymore
fourth you have to
be brutally honest
no more bullshit
no one needs it
good luck!




drying off

when i get out of the shower
i first wipe my face
and then my stomach
my ass and legs
while i do this i think
how much it sucks
i was not born
ten thousand years ago
when i could kill people and animals
with random rocks
how boring it is to live
today with all these pussies
with all the luxuries
and this pussy ass internet
i wish i was in cold nature
where i could kill with my hands
or be killed and eaten
that would be awesome
how did we come
from ancient bloodbaths and struggles to
unfriend on facebook?




wildest sex

my wildest sex experience
was sex on a beach
all thirty of us were covered
with fly bear blood
and instead of cumshots
we had laser beams
that burned through the planet
and straight to another universe
and the sound of this massive shag
was so strong
that it went back in time
and altered history
and the air smelled so good
that everybody who smelled it
died instantly
it was very good sex




the coolest guy on planet earth

if i were the coolest guy
on planet earth
i would drive the tank jeep
from aliens
and it would be painted by
salvador dali’s reincarnation
inside it would be covered by diamonds
and then by velcro
i would wear the original underwear
neil armstrong wore when he walked on moon
and i would talk only using
movie quotes
because my brain
would be instantly connected
to imdb.com
i would not use money
money would use me
my woman would be
the coolest woman on planet earth
but that is a subject
for another poem




everybody and everything wants my love

parents
girlfriend
wife
child
friends
kids
pets
god
animals
planet
toys from childhood
taxi drivers
computer
coffee




essence of advertising

i want emotion
i want life
i want to change everything
i want to be the chosen one
i want to succeed
i want to be loved
i want to love
i want to become
a nuclear weapon of love
i want to live forever
i will live forever
i will never die
and everybody will love me
every second of my neverending life
will be an extreme explosion
of wonderful emotions
time is nothing
love it everything
because i am buying
this toothbrush




poem about big shit

the sensations of
pressure buildup
urgency
panic
blissful release and
final relaxation
can only be
truly verbalized
by a great poet




advice to rafael

you are a
very smart
very hardworking
very talented
very dutch boy

this book shows
that very early
you have discovered
a working system

is it worth
dedicating
your life
to this
or any system

or should you go
where no dutch boy
has gone before




alessio sartore

ask him to do 100 things
99 will not get done
but that 1 thing
is the stuff of legends




The scale of cool

Cool
Very cool
Super cool
Mega cool
Ultra cool
Uber cool
Beyond cool
Forget cool
Just so cool




t j flynn part two

where is t j flynn?
is he in canada?
is he in paraguay?
is he somewhere
in the middle?
to be or not to be
question is now




creationism

whoever had an idea
to make oceans
and mountains
and bananas
and dolphins
and sunsets
and sugar
is a genius




rafael’s drawings

almost
as good
as my
poetry




two word words

jerkoff
dushbag
wristwatch
turbotrainer
notebook
sunglasses




t j flynn goes to canada

flynn is in paraguay
i am in serbia
he caught me on facebook
asked if he should surprise
a girl in canada
by visiting her tomorrow
i said:
yes, make a video




i wrote a poem about yale q&a expectations

i hope
someone asks me
a question
that makes me feel
like someone gets me
you know
what i mean?




worst thing ever that can happen to you

to have a baby with
epidermolysis bullosa
in a country
that is neither
too developed to
help you deal with it
neither too primitive
to allow you to kill it




you sir

you sir
are a worthless
piece of shit
in the bottom of
my diarrhea
infected by alien
vermin from
a plan which smells
like one big slime
and looks like
negro’s asshole
in a galaxy
which is never
far away enough

you sir
i hate and despise
so much
that when i
just think of you
i go blind
my hair falls off
and my dick
starts to sing
my ass
pukes blood
and i get instant
photographic memory
and can see
through walls

you sir
if you ever die
i will be so happy
that i will
instantly
start glowing
in dark
discover the cure
for stupidity
and invent
the character
between
question and exclamation
marks
all people around me
will become dolphins
and all animals will
learn to do calculus




what is love

for ten years
every day
i ask martina
if she loves me
and she never
answers




why you should write poetry

it takes
only few seconds
to write a poem

no one can
really tell if its
good or bad

there is
a tiny chance
kids will have
those stupid
what-does-it-all-mean
discussions
in school
about your poems

while musicians
and painters
need decades
to perfect their
abilities

you do not need
any education or training

the less you know
better your poetry
will be

you hardly need
to know how to spell
or even speak

if no one
has any clue
what your poems
are about
this is perfectly
acceptable

yet poems are
somehow
so very cool

just so
very very cool




stupid entertainment names

fat boy slim
ice tea
ice cube
fifty cent
lady gaga
sting
rolling stone
motorhead
yo yo
kid rock




i am so smart

i am so smart
i could just explode

i am so smart
i should never die
and if i ever die
every second of my life
should be studied by
million scientists

i am so smart
that i can only
talk to
dolphins and aliens

i am so smart
so gods envy me

i am so smart
if you smell my fart
you can learn
all the secrets
of the universe




tractor in the yard

it is there every day
changes colors
something to talk about
over dinner or coffee




mountains and stars

mountains and stars
are there all the time
i am too lazy to notice
their movement
people keep
convincing me
they do move
ok, ill believe it
mountains and stars
move
happy?




advice to graeme for his birthday

maybe i don’t listen to my own advice
but it does not mean i eat mice
do not work so hard
you will end up like a retard
take it easy and build a house block by block
do you know what is huge? it is my door lock
you can not be everything at once
fuck this! i hate rhyme
happy birthday




knowledge sucks

first and greatest
human invention
is death




why people hate science and love religion and media

you are
totally useless
very soon
you will only be
a pile of smelly junk
people love you
only because they
love themselves
and cause they shit
their pants
when they remember
that they are also
insignificant

if you ever invented
anything
you do not even
have a clue how you
invented it
it just happened
and you have no control

if you ever did
anything good
it was only an
accident
something that
could have easily have
happened to
anyone else

you do not
even suck
you are not
even that important
you are just
a stupid useless
chemical nanoevent
in otherwise
meaningless oblivion




die antwoord

i will
NEVER
write a poem
about
die antwoord




cartoon graveyard

there is
no such thing
cartoons
do not die




cats are smarter

they do not need clothes

they talk only
when there is something
important to be said

they do not restrain
carnal desires

they live in a state
of nirvana by default

they communicate
with their excrements




perfect breakfast

nice toasted bread
orange jam
parmesan
americano
with cold milk
in bed
with a good movie
or
in a cafe
next to a cold ocean




death

death
death
death
death
death
death




i will not sell out cheap

i will not sell out
i will not sell
i will not
i will
i




make parents unhappy

do not make kids
die as soon as you can
be unhealthy and weak
be unpredictable




make parents happy

make kids
do not die before them
appear healthy and strong
be predictable




john matuszak

play hard!
party harder!
hey!
you guys!
sloth love chunk!




mega grumpy

don’t you
just hate
polite and
happy people




happy bday mr clarke

when the night is cold
when the evil is too strong
when the volcanoes erupt
and the weak cry for help
when the nation needs a leader
when women need a lover
when men need a friend
when we all need a hero
whom shall we call?
whom do we need?
mr clarke!




the first kiss

is as good
as much as
the first sex sucks




sudden death of friend’s younger brother

sucks
sucks
sucks
fuck, it sucks




fart

an average person
farts fourteen times a day
and creates maybe a litre of gas
multiply this by how many people
there are in this tiny atmosphere
and remember it next time
you complain about someone
farting next to you




in awe of myself

i am so awesome
and i enjoy myself so much
i think everybody should
just be amazed by me
cause im so superb
i will help others
feel this awe
and make the world
a better place




a very good party is

when the music is so loud
that you start crying blood
when you are so drunk
that you cut your fingers off
and you do not care
when sex is so good
that you puke on her face
and you both love it
when you wake up
raped, broke and without fingers
and you just want to
play videogames
that is a very good party




potatoes

when i was a kid and i saw a lot of
animated films in which
it was a punishment for seamen
to peal potatos
i think mickey mouse does it
in his first film
must be horrible to peal them
thank god for artificial stuff like
mcdonalds french fries
which by the way
are invented by belgians




another bullshit poem about my childhood

if you drive a cat
you have to learn not to
open the red cucumber
because
i was in the school
yoodle doo
ok and than it hit me
black is not back
and mice do not eat computers
at least not when
i transmit
you egomaniac
i hate you




jesus christ

if jesus christ was alive today
and he probably is
he would be working in a beach bar
somewhere far away from jerusalem
and he would go out with teenage tourist girls




brian cassidy

brian visited me and one day
we ate so much meat
rafael was there as well
it was so much that we all felt dizzy
as soon as i parked i fell down in the mud and trash
and fell asleep
rafael fell next to me
i dont know how brian could go around
and take photos but he did




kenneth aronson

the only man
who sold
the hell
that
i know of




stonehenge

no one
moved it
for few thousand
years




bill gates

that guy
wrote basic
one version of it
at least
with two other guys
thats cool
no matter what




karf oolhu

i am
a fan
of him
cool
lego stuff
for sure
dreamy




neenstars mai fucked

miltos manetas
mike calvert
rafael rozendaal
jimmy hendrix
george bush
nikola tesla
frodo baggins
donald duck
totoro
ponyo




parents

you can live with them
and you cant live without them
they are your best friend
and your worst enemy
and one day i will be a parent too
which is so scary
and so far away




lance armstrong bumber sticker poem

2 cool
2 b doped




koyaanisqatsi

a quick poem
about koyaanisqatsi
just before
i go out




toilet paper

whoever invented toilet paper is a genius
just imagine the world without it
there would be much more trees
and much less homosexuals




cocoabutter

i just wrote this title out of the blue
and have no idea what this poem will be about
nor i know much about cocoabutter
apart that its probably mostly fat




benefits of bad memory

meeting new people all the time
not remembering your fuckups
believing you are charming
learning not to give a fuck
enjoying the moment
eating mcdonalds more often
looking positively towards future




thank you mr. death

thanks
for letting me live
so long
im already 30
that is already
way too much
a bit more would
be ok
but i am not
pressuring
whatever you decide
is cool with me




the truth

one day i will
expose the truth
and the whole world
will just crumble down
it will be so
super super cool




this is the best shirt ever

this shirt is so fucking great
it is so good
i can just like shit myself
and it is too good
like warm and soft in my pants
that is how good this shirt is




death again

whenever i have
nothing good to write about
i write about death
it is the easiest
most universal subject
very commercial
easy sale!




the burp of truth

it came from the depths of hell
straight into the universe of sound
i was scared but i stood my ground
unmoved by its awesome power
one burp to rule them all




happy birthday miltos

one more year
of doing stuff
has passed




alone

like being the only person
on a small sinking boat in january
in the middle of the ocean at night
and there are about fifty sharks
swimming around your sinking boat
and they are very hungry
and you have aids for ten years
and never told anyone
and you are sorry for so many things
but you can not apologize to anyone
because soon you will sink and
sharks will eat you




at any point in my life

i would not like
to have my penis cut off
by a cigar cutter
to fall face down and
break my teeth on a rock
to insult someone so much
that they never speak to me again
to have lumbal punction
or to burry my children
while dying of
a very painful cancer
while my wife is cheating
on me with my best friend
who owes me money




brushing teeth

why would someone
at the age of twenty eight
with almost no career,
focus and daydream completely
on writing this poem
and on nothing else,
is that a loser or
winner mentality?




funny poem

blind man is touching a grater
and than he says:
who wrote this bullshit?




life

i am 28 years old and
that is already more than enough
i guess its important not to
worry yourself about it too much




the way poetry was 100 years ago

polka makes a lot of sense
when it is than
mustard is eating my brain
so now what
pokemon rules and dogs
do not care if cats
combined with cars
can go the distance
however if you are ever around
make sure potatos
are rotten
when you enter the castle of evil
forget the color of your underwear
sun is green only
when jupiter is on purple ice
rats are in my ass
colors are running away
tomorrow




webcam

angelo asked me for
hundredth time if i have a webcam
and for hundredth time
i told him i dont have one




classics

i think
no!
i am sure my poems
are classics even before
people read them
how this is possible
i do not know
it just is




metallica

sometimes its a clear day
and im just doing my usual stuff
and it comes to me
i just realize
how fucking cool metallica is




miltos manetas

the older i am
the more i like him
i guess when i am hundred years old
i will like him a lot




im really into it

yeah im doing well
now im doing better
and im doing it so well
im faster and better
and im kicking ass
feels so good




rafael rozendaal

a child in a man’s body
or a man in a child’s body
is the question now
but he has big ears
and is surely a fine lad
hooray!




my best poem so far

this is a really cool poem
i am writing it now
and i dont know how it will continue
but im sure its the best one i wrote so far
awesome!




neen

i am the most neen person that i have ever met
and using this standard i judge everyone else
of course everyone is inferior to me
when it comes to being neen
some would probably disagree to this
but no one is really sure what neen is
so i win




training for my parents’ death

i have been eating well
lifting weights
doing long easy runs
reading up on the subject
gathering experiences
establishing contacts
i should be ready




lets go to war

theres nothing else to do
we are super bored
those people over there
do not like our food
lets kill them
we need more money
they have it
lets kill them and take it
its easier than
selling them shit
lets go to war
because it is fun
most people
are fucking terrified of war
but fuckem
it is fun for us