money


1259 google is a scam

only a fraction of google ads
are properly targeted
and they know it.

google ads could reach
people with the matching interests
but then google would make less money.

google makes most of its money
by showing ads to people
who have no interest to buy.

this is their business model.
google could have solved targeting
ages ago, but they would be poorer.




1249 eric schmidt’s killer drones

they are not kamikaze drones.
kamikaze were honorable
dedicated soldiers.

these are killer drones
loaded with explosives
which can enter your home
find your kids hiding under the bed
and explode their head.

they are cheap to make
so governments can just
print imaginary money
and make millions of killer drones.

they are more dangerous
than nuclear weapons
because they can kill millions
in a matter of few hours
for a fraction of a cost
without damaging
real estate and infrastructure.




1239 miracle

if you do not enjoy
the miracle of life
while you are alone
in a completely dark room
no amount of money
or anything
will make you happy




1238 i am sorry for the office

i sincerely apologize
for forcing our employees
to come to our office for so many years
before i finally canceled the office
and switched our company
to fully remote.

we wasted so much time and money
on the stupid office
instead of investing in our products.




1226 accidents do not repeat

all politicians dream
of managing foreign policy
because this is one thing
where little people
can not tell them what to do.

all foreign policy
always ends up killing children.
not one or two,
but hundreds and thousands,
and tens of thousands of children.

and there is zero money
invested in advancing democracy
but there are trillions invested
in weapons that always end up
killing children.




1220 instagram inspiration

instagram
was inspired by
the movie pretty woman
to connect hookers
to people with money
with a tiny promise
of conservative happiness




1031 internet story 1: elon and massimo

elon is very rich
and he likes massimo.
when massimo was sick
and needed money to get well
elon did not give him money
but he made a subscription feature
so massimo can make his own money.




1083 money protects us

without money
people would just do
bad stuff
without the limitation
of a price tag




960 usa

everyone
who moved from europe to usa
became richer and super focused
as if they sold their wisdom
for a ton of money




946 understanding money

money is an invention
that facilitated
universal and unlimited
collaboration between
all people.

it is not a goal
but a tool for us
to work together.




922 globalization

globalization was created
to help the world develop
using the universal language
of money.

but without
a good idea behind it
it just ended up funding
a lot of really bad ideas.




885 real estate effect

it is almost impossible to
make money from houses
and make money from ideas




853 how my ceo brain works

3.1 % about money
30 % about people
99 % about changing the world




819 you do not care about money

never forget that
you do not care about money
and you only use it as a tool




762 creative industries

we are just a bunch of
desperate for attention egomaniacs
going through millions of
trial and error tests
in an attempt to make
that one in a million thing
that makes a ton of money
and we do not really care
if we discover anything
as long as it makes money.




743 money does not matter

it does not matter
how much money you have,
it matters
how you made it

if you made money
by being an asshole
you can not fix it
by giving money away




734 tourism

tourism could have been
a personal discovery of human diversity

but actually it is about
going to another country
and giving locals a ton of money
to act as our slaves
while we pretend to be royalty
for a week or two.

sorry for such a cynical poem.
i was thinking if i should write it
for a whole week.

i love tourism.
but it is ruined!
but i love it!




728 the best way to be an artist

the best way to be an artist
is to make money
doing something which is not art
so when you make art
you are not influenced by the buyer.

one trick to escape being a bitch
is to be ironic about it
which is what artists tried to do
in the last hundred years
but then all your art is just irony.

another trick
is to simply become
an extremely evasive addict
and reduce your consciousness
to just wanting money.




crypto empathy

recession is on the doorstep
so i bought some ethereum
and i asked pauly
to explain nfts in a single tweet
and he replied: no,
his “no” made me sad
but he knew i feel this way
so he also replied: but good morning.
he reminded me
how people are actually nice
in spite of all the war, money, and death.
thank you pauly, whoever you are.




money is not an ideology

i love money.
it is a great invention.
it is easy to carry and count.
much better than chickens, pigs, and rocks.

but it is not more than a tool.
some people get carried away
that it is an idea, a goal, a purpose,
but these people are idiots.




write a business poem

if all
managers,
investors,
lawyers,
accountants,
investors,
analysts,
consultants,
would write poems
and include them in their work
everyone would make much more money
and the world would be a much better place.




life lesson number one

let me try put this life lesson
into a semi decent poem:
the main thing about
the things you have
is that they cost more
to keep then to get.
and i am not talking about
houses and money and that stuff.
hope that makes
some sense to someone.




jaden smith

jaden is a good son
he makes more money
than his father will
and helps his father
by producing his movies
and fixing his ferrari
and buying him jewelry




growing up defined

growing up
is an einstein rosen bridge
from a creative fun plan
to a piece of shit money planet
made by those
who never had any creative fun.




our son will be a dwarf

we will save money
on clothing and tickets.
he will eat and drink less
and we do not need to
buy a bigger bed.
he will be lighter to carry.
he can be a jockey
or an investment banker.
he could invest
all the money we save
on food, beds, clothing, and tickets.




emotion is a luxury

rich crave emotion
because they have
time for it

for poor
emotion is a luxury
they do not have time for

once the poor
have time for emotions
then they make a mess of them

emotions need a lot of time
and time is money
and money is with the rich

and rich crave emotion
because they have
time for it




the coolest guy on planet earth

if i were the coolest guy
on planet earth
i would drive the tank jeep
from aliens
and it would be painted by
salvador dali’s reincarnation
inside it would be covered by diamonds
and then by velcro
i would wear the original underwear
neil armstrong wore when he walked on moon
and i would talk only using
movie quotes
because my brain
would be instantly connected
to imdb.com
i would not use money
money would use me
my woman would be
the coolest woman on planet earth
but that is a subject
for another poem




at any point in my life

i would not like
to have my penis cut off
by a cigar cutter
to fall face down and
break my teeth on a rock
to insult someone so much
that they never speak to me again
to have lumbal punction
or to burry my children
while dying of
a very painful cancer
while my wife is cheating
on me with my best friend
who owes me money




lets go to war

theres nothing else to do
we are super bored
those people over there
do not like our food
lets kill them
we need more money
they have it
lets kill them and take it
its easier than
selling them shit
lets go to war
because it is fun
most people
are fucking terrified of war
but fuckem
it is fun for us