763 complaining about the world

i do not want to sound
like a sad loser
but complaining about the world
is a decent way
to numb the personal struggle with mortality

758 learning and trust struggle

first i learned that depression is an illness,
then i learned that there are antidepressants,
then i learned that antidepressants are tested using a rat forced swim test,
then i learned that a rat forced swim test might be wrong,
and i am still curious but confused
looking forward to what i will learn next,
and i still trust doctors i find on google.

ps. i am not depressed.
i am just using depression as an example of learning and trust.

drying off

when i get out of the shower
i first wipe my face
and then my stomach
my ass and legs
while i do this i think
how much it sucks
i was not born
ten thousand years ago
when i could kill people and animals
with random rocks
how boring it is to live
today with all these pussies
with all the luxuries
and this pussy ass internet
i wish i was in cold nature
where i could kill with my hands
or be killed and eaten
that would be awesome
how did we come
from ancient bloodbaths and struggles to
unfriend on facebook?