i did not
brush my teeth
this morning

this morning
while taking a shower
i forgot how old i was.

as soon as i got out
i asked irena if i was
fourty four or fourty five years old.

she told me i was forty four years old.
i was very happy because
i won a free year of life.

my son and i woke up together.
we were alone.
we went down to the kitchen
and he wanted to eat a kiwi.
i scooped the kiwi with a spoon
thinking how i can cut out a nice big piece.
i was happy he wanted kiwi in the morning.
i gave the piece to him.
i realized it was big for him
but was confident he can chew it.
he tried hard.
but he started choking.
i flipped him upside down
holding his leg with one arm
and tapping his back with another.
he spat out one piece.
he continued to choke.
i again flipped him over
and started tapping his back.
there was no one to help me.
his life depended on how i tap his back.

i woke up
and it was still dark
and i was very sweaty and hot
and i moved the sheets just a bit
and a bit of cold air got under
and it felt really refreshing.
i rate this experience
up there with being
the first man on mars
or climbing mount everest.

this morning
while i was taking a shower
i noticed how water drops were falling
on the plastic shower cabin floor

the drops glittered
in the most beautiful way i have ever seen
but i only noticed it
for a millisecond in the corner of my eye

i tried to replicate
the angle and speed of the drops
but i was not able to see the glitter again
the moment was lost

but i am so happy
to have experienced
this moment of rare beauty
while taking a shower this morning