i need something
i enjoyed that once
i want it
i crave it, it is awesome
it really need it
this is so tasty
this is amazing
i am so happy to be alive
something is not right
i am a bit sick
i need to go to the bathroom
i will never eat that again
why does that exist
i am ashamed
this world is hell

if we talk
on the phone
and you hear an echo
i just want to make it clear
that i am not in a bathroom
sitting on a toilet

for many years
i washed my penis
in the bathroom sink.

before you judge me
this is our third bathroom,
the smallest one,
in my office,
that mostly i use,
and i always wash it well
after i wash my penis in it.

but i still felt guilty
that i never told this
to irena.
i never lie and
i also never withhold
important truth.

i was under pressure
for years
and it was, in a small way,
damaging our relationship,
but i was waiting for
the right moment to tell her.

and one day,
after we have not been together
for a long time,
we had impulsive dirty sex
in that bathroom,
and it made perfect sense
that i wash my penis in the sink
in front of her
and i casually told her
that i do this sometimes,
and i felt so relieved
that i was able to share this with her,
and the horrible pressure
was finally gone.

now i have to figure out
how to tell the kids.

ps
irena read this poem
and told me i already told her before.
but i forgot this.

pss
i realized our kids will
read this poem.

i am not good with dental hygene
my three minutes three times a day
are actually one minute twice a day
but somehow
every time I start brushing my teeth
my partner rushes in
and sits on the toilet saying:
“i really have to!”
every single time!
i miss brushing my teeth without
the fart echo behind me.
is it too much to ask that
taste and smell senses match.