i came up with a poem
about how i am a peacemaker
because i can talk to enemies
and understand them
and compromise with them
and change me and them,
but an hour later i met an enemy
and got super upset like an idiot.

poetry is the ultimate use of language
and i have been writing poetry for decades
and i still struggle with language
because it is so limited and primitive.
using language seems like an incredible compromise
where i lose 99 % of who i am.
i can not imagine how other people feel
who do not have the time to practice as much as i do.
it must be like living in the darkest deepest hole
of loneliness where no one can understand you
and you are forced to somehow
go through your life without anyone
knowing who you are.
it is as if you are a hamster.