expert


i am an expert in

eating food
sleeping
peeing
number two
thinking
being pissed off
watching tv
washing hands
drinking
listening to sounds
not seeing in dark
sitting in chairs
walking on various flat surfaces
using forks and glasses
chewing
signing documents
looking at things
touching my left eyebrow with my left hand
wiggling my toes
wearing underwear
wearing socks
interpreting time from digital watches
being cold
being warm
being tired
being happy
laughing at really funny jokes
wanting to be on a beach
being horny
swallowing food
taking cash from my wallet and giving it to someone else
putting on and taking off clothes
evaluating weather by looking through the window
holding things with one hand
holding things with two hands
standing on two feet
being proud
being ashamed
sweating
showering
blinking